Happy Mother’s Day! Does the picture above look familiar? It is one of the many golden skills of Motherhood. I hope you have cherished memories of a Mom who was able to connect with you during the tough times, find out what was going wrong, and then help to encourage you. Mom’s help a great deal through faithful communication. Communication skills are valuable tools that build lasting relationships. In this article, we look at tips for sending good messages in your family through faithful communication skills.
Commit to being a good listener. Proverbs 18:13 says, “He who gives an answer before he hears, it is folly and shame to him.” Whether your child is two or twenty-two, react to your child’s point of view in a way that gives them permission to share important events in their lives. Listen “deeply” for the underlying need that is motivating your child’s communication. Have a “listening” attitude to create an open channel of communication in your family.
Set up a time to talk. Create an activity that your family can engage and enjoy. Play opens a child’s heart. Talk while you have fun. Playing catch, playing with dolls, taking a walk or driving, going to your favorite place to eat, or an afternoon at the baseball park can all be great activities that “set the stage” for a good conversation.
Application: Do you have a good routine of activities that you share with your child? Do these activities create an environment where your kids are more likely to open up with meaningful conversation? Create a list of 10 activities that you will commit to working into the family routine. Place this on a mirror in your house, or a visible place until this list of activities become a reality.
Have Boundaries for Communication. It is important to set guidelines for interactions with your kids. If you want to promote an atmosphere of empathy and caring, you must have rules that protect this type of connection. Parents should avoid making sarcastic comments. When things get heated, keep your criticism constructive. When addressing a situation that is really negative or unfortunate, get to the point quickly and keep it focused. Then, work on the resolution. Focus on the issue at hand and avoid personal attacks. What are some guidelines for kids? Teach them to keep conversations respectful, especially toward adults. Instruct them on what takes a discussion “over the line” into dysfunction. End a conversation when the boundaries are getting crossed. For more on this topic read, “Boundaries with Kids” by Henry Cloud and John Townsend.
Communicate Truth Frequently. In Deuteronomy 6: 6 – 9, God says, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.” Communicate to your child about faith. Teach them the truth of God’s word found in the Bible. Set aside a family time daily, to read the Bible and pray with your children. Do you want effective communication? Talk about the most important topic in life, God’s truth and grace.
Colossians 3:20 – 21 says, “Children, be obedient to your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord. Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart.”
Effective communication is a source of encouragement to the family. Communication must be handled with wisdom and care, or it can become the primary factor in the breakdown of a parent-child relationship. Want to experience victory in your family? Set a goal to establish communication that builds trust and respect.
Parents be encouraged. If you and your child are disconnected, remember, it’s not too late. You can start over today. Use the tips above. Reach out to other parents for support. Talk with a pastor to develop resources for your family. If you need extra help, call us. At Christian Counseling Associates, we have expert Marriage and Family counselors that can help you faithfully and creatively meet the parenting challenges that you face.
God’s blessing to Mothers and Families this weekend!
Richard Hoffman Ph.D.
Clinical Director
Christian Counseling Associates of Western PA
