In our previous articles, we gave two guidelines for creating an exceptional family environment: (1) Create a home base, and (2) Develop Family Cohesion. This week’s article focuses on 3 additional guidelines for building exceptional families: (1) Establish Meaningful Traditions, (2) Communicate with Purpose, and (3) Have a Plan for the Tough Times.
Establish Meaningful Traditions
Much of family time can be caught up in focusing on what needs to get done (i.e. homework, and coordinating schedules). Families need to spend time together when parents are not giving out commands, or handling the “business” of the family. However, meaningful traditions go beyond scheduling time for fun. Traditions create experiences that maintain a family’s spiritual connection by honoring their God given purpose.
To establish traditions, be intentional about creating events that focus on a deeper purpose and a deeper reality in your family. Plan celebrations, tell family stories, create special dinnertime rituals, and worship together. Reflect on these events with your spouse to assess if they point toward a deeper purpose. Traditions should create the sense that the family is on a life journey together.
Communicate with Purpose
But the loving kindness of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him, and His righteousness to children’s children, to those who keep His covenant and remember His precepts to do them. (Psalm 103:17 – 18)
God’s truth and grace is the basis of His children’s security. God’s mercy and goodness are available to each generation that follows the good example set by the previous generation. Part of setting the right example for our children, is being able to communicate effectively about these types of truths.
Communicating purpose can only happened by creating the right kind of environment. We create this kind of atmosphere in the words and actions we choose. Be intentional about saying and doing things that demonstrate respect, and the valuing of one another. Be intentional about creating and encouraging and secure family circle. This type of environment will be needed to talk about the important things of life.
Move beyond just talking about problems. Talk about things that matter. Identify techniques that keep the lines of communication open in your family. Develop special places and times to have meaningful conversations.
Tune into the world of your children. Talk about what they are being taught in school, what music they listen to, what they are seeing on TV and the internet. Do these mediums of communication affirm, or contradict messages about their purpose in life? Ultimately, create activities that allow time for discussions about faith and the purpose of life.
Have a Plan for the Tough Times
When it comes to family life, it’s not a question of whether or not a crisis will hit. It is a question of when. There will always be good times and bad times in the life of our families. An important aspect of an exceptional family, is that it wisely prepares for the tough times.
We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ… (2 Corinthians 10:5).
Teach your family a perspective that allows them to face the crises of life. Teach them to consider what God is doing even in the tough times. Instill practices like praying about troubles and concerns. Cultivating a heart of prayer will help your family see God’s perspective more fully in times of crisis.
Create a habit of sharing burdens. Let your children see that you depend on God when you face a struggle. Teach them also to seek advice from family members, and other Godly people in their lives. In a time of crisis you want to be assured that your children are planning to seek the right kind of help and advice.
Create a system of support. Make sure that you are connected to your church at a significant level. Be involved in the lives of others families in the church, and encourage them to be involved in yours. The result? When it is time to reach out, the church will be in a position to help.
Also, know that you can get extra help when needed by Christian Counseling Associates. We are always here and ready to provide wise counsel. Feel free to call us today at 724-396-1510 to set up an appointment in any of our locations.
