The Attitude of Love
Of the themes that men have known
One supremely stands alone
Love is the theme, Love the supreme.
Sweeter it grows, glory bestows.
Bright as the sun, ever it glows.
Love is the theme,The eternal theme.
Author Unknown
In our last article, we explored the “Critical Attitude” and the potential it has to lead us into an emotional, spiritual, and even physical place of crisis. Throughout our series on attitude we have considered the significant impact that attitude can have on our ability to experience the life God intended us to have.
In our counseling practice, at Christian Counseling Associates, we can attest that attitude can be a significant component of emotional disorders such as Anxiety and Depression. Certainly, negative attitudes play a large role in anger control problems. In addition, marital problems and divorce can be fueled by the critical attitude. Psychological researcher and marriage expert, John Gottman, conducted a long-term research study that discovered that stable marriages demonstrated a 5 to 1 ratio of positive to negative communications in daily interactions over time. Therefore, the ratio of positive to negative attitude displayed could predict whether a marriage would be successful or not.
In Lord Change My Attitude, author James MacDonald teaches about the biblical example of how attitude kept Israel wandering in the barren wilderness for 40 years (please review this story in Numbers 11 – 14). When a critical attitude develops into a habit, it can keep us in a “wilderness” state of being. This condition is characterized by a loss of love, joy, peace, and even faith. The critical attitude can be a destructive habit in our life.
In 1 Corinthians 13: 4 – 8, we find God’s truth about the nature of love:
“Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails…”
For those of us that struggle with a critical attitude, the solution is to replace it with the attitude of love. To explore this, meditate on 1 Corinthians 13 and explore the following questions:
1) Has a critical attitude become a habit in my life?
- It is necessary to confront major problems in life, such as wrongdoing, sin and injustice. Significant action is called for in response to major life situations. This is not the critical attitude that we are addressing above.
- The critical attitude can be detected in the habits we have in the small things. These are the frequent every day issues of life. How do we handle the everyday hassles; the little things that stir us up?
2) Am I a loving person?
- During the next week, let us take an honest look over our lives. Is there evidence of the love that is described in 1 Corinthians 13 (see above) in our everyday interactions?
3) Am I seeing the benefits of love in my life?
- In our relationships (especially the marriage relationship), do we maintain that
5 to 1 ratio, that the Gottman study (see above) identified as so important to maintaining healthy friendships in our lives?
4) Am I choosing love over criticism moment by moment?
- And I choosing an attitude of love intentionally in my day-to-day life?
At Christian Counseling Associates, our counselors acknowledge the powerful role that attitude can play in our lives. It is possible to replace a critical attitude with a loving attitude and this can be life changing. It starts with this commitment:
“The life I now live, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”
If you have made that commitment (or want to make that commitment), it is important to get the support of a Bible believing church, and the community of faithful believers who can help nurture that commitment. In addition, if you struggle with a critical attitude, know that counseling can help you examine this issue, supports you in replacing this with an attitude of love. But overall, let us trust that God is faithful. If we rely on Him, he will show us the way to overcome any problem that is before us. He has the power to lead us into the Promised Land.
May God bless you this week.
