An angry guest came down to the front desk of a cruise ship demanding a different room. The attendant tried to calm him down and find out why he disliked his cabin so much. He responded: “I paid a lot of money for this cruise and was promised a sea view, the only thing I can see through my window is the parking lot!” The man went away dissatisfied. The attendants were astonished, because the ship had not yet left the dock!
Complaining (v.)- To express dissatisfaction or annoyance about a state of affairs or an event.
Often times we need to speak up against an injustice or a problem (this is not complaining). Taking action in the face of adversity is called for frequently (this also is not the attitude we are targeting). Complaining is expressing dissatisfaction and not taking a useful course of action. It also occurs when we engage in dissatisfaction about normal, average, or expected every day adversity. It can be outward behavior like the example above, or it can manifest itself in a style of thinking about every day events. Either way, a complaining attitude can have disastrous consequences in our lives.
In our previous article, we discussed the biblical example found Numbers chapters 11 through 14 (please meditate on this Scripture to understand the impact of a complaining attitude). In this story, we see the complaining attitude developed by the people of Israel. They had a choice to follow God into the Promised Land, but instead their attitude kept them stuck in the desert for 40 years.
Numbers chapter 11:1 reads, “Now the people became like those who complain of adversity in the hearing of the Lord…” The people of Israel faced adversity, they were on a perilous journey through the desert and were challenged many times. However, throughout the journey, God made it clear (visibly) that He was with them, guiding them out of slavery into a life with Him. We all face adversity in life, some of us will face situations that are unimaginable. And many times in these types of events we are tempted to develop a complaining attitude.
The book of Numbers shows us that complaining, separates us from God. In the long term, complaining can become a lifestyle. Our initial example, shows how this attitude can prevent us from enjoying great events, but chronic complaining can be serious. It can prevent us from entering the ‘”promised land” that God has for us. A complaining attitude generates anger, frustration, and upset. Complaining prevents us from acting on the adversity that confronts us in life. It can contribute to unhealthy emotional patterns and dysfunctional behavior. The complaining attitude has serious life consequences.
This week ask yourself three questions:
- · Am I a complainer? (Challenge yourself to take an honest look)
- · What are the consequences of my complaining attitude?
- · Am I willing to turn away from this behavior?
Consider this exercise:
Discovering a complaining attitude is the first step. Realize that this attitude is a behavior that keeps us “stuck.” It can contribute to depression, anxiety, marital and life problems. It is important to find the roots of where this behavior started to develop.
In your memory, explore the key events in your childhood, adolescence, and adulthood where you have faced significant adversity. Reflect on these events. Search for areas in which a critical attitude may have first developed. This can be a good starting point into a deeper exploration of your overall attitude.
In our next article, we will talk about how to replace a critical attitude with a thankful attitude. It is our hope at Christian Counseling Associates that the exploration above will lead you to emotional freedom. The foundation of this freedom is a life with God and that is found in a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. If we can help you on this journey, please contact us today!
